Brenda’s Pregnancy Journal

This has been a long work-week for me. I came in on my day off yesterday to attend our annual Christmas Party. Working 4 days strait is no fun! But I get tomorrow off, so a 3-day weekend is a worthy trade.

At night Charlie & I are reading books on childbirth & currently on “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth”  Even in the couple pages we read each night I learn so much each time. It just makes so much SENSE. It makes me frusterated sometimes @ the way the medical profession has gone, but I am really trying to focus on what I can do to counter act that. My dream is to one day give birth at a birth-center with a midwife, but financially that’s just not possible right now. But these books are really giving me the information I need to feel capable of acheiving an intervention free/unmedicated childbirth. Even before I was pregnant, childbirth was a passion of mine, and to think I am going to have the opportunity to give birth myself in just 5 months is so exciting. In some ways I can’t wait, but in others I really have a lot more to learn and a lot of practicing to do. I do my breathing excersizes & Kegels on the bus so it’s a good way to use that time. I think one success I already have is that I have no fear of the process. I’ve read and seen enough that it doesn’t scare me, it excites me and I just feel anticipation for it! Charlie is reading “Husband Coached Childbirth” and we’re both very excited about the very active role he will play that day. It’s so amazing to me how perfect we compliment eachother - especially in thinking about labor & delivery. I know his strengths are really going to be important to helping things go right. He is so good at being considerate of others, I know he’ll be much better at communicating with the hospital staff than I would. I would want to walk in & demand my way, but he’ll take a more gentler route & we’ll probably get further! I also know he’ll be great as a labor coach/doula. He is so willing to educate himself I know that he will know as much as I will going into things, and that will give me the confidence to trust him & I know he will be vital to our success.

I’m sure people worry that I’m such a fanatic about unmedicated/intervention free childbirth (for MYSELF) that if something doesn’t go as planned I’ll be a wreck. I believe that unless I have the resolve of a fanatic I won’t be able to acomplish my goal. On the other hand, I have lost two precious babies already and my ultimate goal is to hold a live child in my arms - and no matter how that child ends up there, I will be happy. It’s not about being superwoman, it’s about doing what I believe is safest and healthiest for mom & baby. I know that if we end up with epidurals & c-section & every other intervention, I will know that it was the best possible choice for the situation, and will therefore not regret it.

If things go as I pray they will, I will definetly re-start the doula certification process. I would really love to teach other women about childbirth and their bodies, and help them to have the childbirth experience that they desire.

While I don’t agree with all of Dr. Sear’s parenting philosophies, his book on Childbirth was also very enlightening. There is a terrific section on the history of birth that I found so interesting. That is probably the book Charlie & I will be reading together next.

I am just loving being pregnant, I feel so very fortunate that I haven’t dealt with much morning sickness. Elliot is so fun to feel, he moves around quite a bit, he has his quiet times & active times. I feel like I’m getting to know him already. And I love calling him by his name, I hope he’ll be familiar with it’s sound when he is born.